sPoT oF mY hEaRt

crazy encountered with God in CSULB_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:30:00 +0000

there are too much crazy things to share...

first... tonight... wow.. I don't even know how to start this...

this is what happened...

God is coming to CSULB with power and He surely coming soon...

these few weeks.. the students who have passion about Jesus been given this 24/7 prayer meeting vision by God...

and we all have received this among the same time..

and we all believe that is gonna happen.. just need a place to fulfilling this vision.

so on Monday night, David asked me to go to this prayer meeting called RHOP...

its located at little tokyo which is supported by Heaviest Rock on Pasadena..

it started on 2006 till now..

a open 24/7 prayer room... for student leaders from every difference campus on CA..

which is really cool, that night along, I got to met the leaders from UCLA, UCSD, UCI, UCR..etc.

and they are all on fire for God and revival...

we all hungry about God and we all cried out that night... from 10pm to 1am..

that was great... but what is crazy is tonight...

today I met with this leader from Campus Crusade for Christ....

and Tammy and I taught him how to sing with Bible verse...

which we have sung Psalm 26 and 115... and it sounds really good too

so he was very happy about it and wanted to do more..

not only that... we also have prayer room on the Campus Crusade meeting.. which is really cool

because God show up

He totally did.. MY VERY FIRST DRUNK IN SPIRIT HAPPENED TONIGHT!!!! DURING THE MEETING...

we have no idea it will happen this early..

we all pray for this club.. since we really want to see God doing something to open up their eyes... without our effect .. God just did it..

I was praying with this girl, and somehow God just want me to say sorry to her for this painful experience from her past... for some reason, God want me to told her that just thought that I am the person who hurt her.. and she started crying.. I started crying like crazy with her too... I felt this huge pain in my heart.. so we were weeping together..

after that somehow God just done something funny..

so I started laughing.. really bad.. can't stop... and I felt very joyful... and dizzy too...

I fell from chair and started laughing on the floor..

people looked at me to see what happened.. and Tammy started asking if people want to be baptized by Holy Spirit.. and we prayed for few people... also prayed for most the leaders there... and one of them got filled by Holy Spirit immediately.. which it never happened to him before.. he even received tongue... isn't that crazy?!

that's not the craziest part yet....

we were praying for the leader we met earlier ... and we prayed that he will be fill by Holy Spirit and become drunk like I am..

at that time he didn't get drunk .. but turned red and full with joy...

and we just kept praying on our own since he need to go to leader meeting after the Crusade meeting... so we were praying on our own.. kept filled by God for almost 3-4 hours today.. and I was really drunk ... can't really stand up by my own...

we were praying fire on each other... and then we decided to go to the leader meeting and fill all of them with Holy Spirit.. which we found out by the time we were there.. the guy we prayed for drunk in Spirit is already drunk by that time..

and we were praying for some other leaders who never received the baptize from holy spirit before.. which was really fun.. they all felt God and have fun with Him..

after the meeting... Tammy and I decided to do more..

we stayed and started worship with Bible verses again... just Psalm...

its fun.... we were having 2 guy leaders from CCC... and 3 girl leaders from CCC...

and Tammy and I...

we all worshiping freely.. and we felt God open heaven...

so we started cried out to God.. for our campus...

we prayed for each other...

and then we all lay on the floor... and started pray for all of them... (since they all never received tongue before)... and guess what?!

they ALL received tongue tonight... and two to three of them even got drunk in the spirit for their very first time!!!!

God answered our prayer in a very crazy way... and way early than we thought....

I started my campus invasion at the same day too...

isn't God good?!

btw.. I need some support for buying my team some can I pray for you shirt...

can someone help?!

ha.. anyhow... God is so good....

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btw... I married to Jesus..

don't really got time to share that earlier..

but its a really cool story too..

I was in this bible study/prayer meeting on this guy's house... and we were praying.. that day was the election day... and I remember I was weeping with Steph after we heard the result of election... for America.. and all of sudden... we both felt like we shouldn't be sad... because God is in control over all these... so we just praying... and during that I saw God gave me this really beautiful promised ring/ engaged ring.. there are 7 pearls with diamonds on it.. there are white, pink, peach, and light brown for the pearls... and God just asked me.. "will you marry me?"....

I was crying.. because I felt so unworthy.. and I felt I am not ready yet....

but when I turned around.. I saw a big mirror behind me.. and I saw myself dress up with bride's dress.. which is a peach dress... very very beautiful design... and it looks like I am ready to get marry.. and right after that.. I saw this marriage license in front of me.. and Jesus just sign His name before me... I was crying with joy.. from that I know.. I am marry to GOD...

isn't that crazy?!

oh .. oh... by the way..

we are going to have an event for life!

we gonna do it for 6 hours.. maybe 12 hours.. fast and pray... silently..

not only that please pray for this sat. we gonna have an all leaders meeting for break out on Long Beach to have revival to come...

em... we are all on fire and crazy!!!

GOd is SOOOOOOOOOO GOod to us!!!!

Thank you for reading it..

grateful_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:38:00 +0000

can't thank enough....

can't praise enough...

because You are so good to me...

I was very tired today...

lack of sleep.. plus stress all over me.

I am so tight up with work (new job) and school work..

I really want to spend some quality time with God..

not just that.. I want to do more for God on my campus..

I am not satisfied with the little work I can do here...

I want to do more...

so today.. I was kinda stress out.. and don't feel anything else.. but tired... and sick..

there are so many things to share.. just don't have enough time to share..

as I walked to my English teacher's office today...

while i was waiting.. here comes a guy ... freshman... waiting for the same teacher ... we all want to ask him for help on essay..

anyhow.. all of sudden.. I started share what God has for him.. he thought I was a sidekick.. and I told him.. I am just like normal people that love by God..

he was shocked by what I said about him... and I told him...that's not me.. its God who knows him..

I can tell he wants to know more.. but we are out of time.. but I am sure we will see each other again.. keep praying for him..

after that... I saw the sign at my school... vote no on prop 8..

my heart is aching..don't know what to do .. don't know what to act.

but pray.. as I walk.. I went to bookstore.. got something for myself ... and the tiredness just came to me..

I don't want to do anything ... anymore...

until my ipod changed to the music Luck Hendrickson played..

I didn't really listen to it before.. until today..

it really clam me down, I can feel God is with me as well..

my heart got soft... and I know.. its time for me to think more about God.. but not people...

I been focus too much on people these days..

I give give give..

and I am dry now..

I need living water from my creator..

so I started thinking..

I really need to say thank you to God and lots of people in my life.

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Love notes for God:

I was small, I was no one...

I used to hate myself, I used to look down on myself...

I used to kill myself, I used to ignore my feelings...

I was dirty, I was hurt...

I was broke, I was lost...

until You came in to my life..

tell me its okay to cry..

its okay to give up sometimes,

its okay to not try so hard..

its okay to love, its okay to be love

its okay to smile again, its okay to be heal.

there is nothing You can't do..

You taught me so much..

You wiped my tears from my cheeks..

kissed me on my forehead..

You tell me how much You loves me everyday..

every part of me... that's been torn apart, been hurt really bad..

You touch it, heal it.. and told me that I am beautiful..

You told me not to look back.. but look upon You..

You gave me hope, You are the reason I live..

You held me tight when I can't sleep at night,

You held my hand when I am lost

I say, "but I don't have a father..."

You say, " here I am.."

I say, "I been hurt so bad God.."

You say, "its okay, I am here with you.. and I love you.."

I say, "I can't go on.. I need help.."

You say, "let me carry you daughter..."

I say, "no body loves me, I am so lonely.."

You say, "I am here... please look at me.."

I say, "Lord, I am tired.."

You say, "rest in my arms.."

THank You.. Thank You God...

my tears can't stop falling from my face..

because of Your love..

God.. please... save my friends, school, and my family..

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Love notes for YOU:

thank you for being part of my life..

you might not know... how important you are..

but I want to tell you ... thank you so much ..

thank you for being here for me when I am sad..

every hug warms me from my heart..

every "how you doing?" remind me someone cares about me..

even every smile give me joy..

thank you... for your love..

I just want to give all back..

with all I have..

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can't wait for the call..

I have very good feeling about it..

I know.. God will touch me that day..

even now.. God's presence are so strong..

God proved me free money from school..

have I mention it ?

he he..

200 for books.. praise the Lord..

and not just that..

He prepared me a job.. let me work at starbucks..

although its very tiring..

but.. I know.. all things work for good..

hey..

I want to touch more lives..

are you here with me?

lets do it together..

we love Jesus..!!

wiLl_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 07:51:00 +0000

So I guess I will share this again..

God have answered all my prayers for this year..

Well, almost all...

is getting there.. and God is good!!!

I been praying for have more faith in Him and want to do something crazy for Him.

So I pray for get to know all the christian club leaders in my school, and I really want to united them together cry out for my school.

Then I pray for becoming a prophet... want to see more visions, dream more crazy dreams..

Third, I want to disciple someone, although I didn't know too much yet, but I just want to give it all... I don't want to forget any detail of what I have learned. And the best way to remember it is by teaching it to others.

After these just some other personal wishes, such as family's income problems, move back to the place where near church, and stuff like that..

Anyhow, during 2008 this summer, all my prayers have been answered.

God is faithful... when you ask Him for something faithfully, He will give it to you right on time.

During the Jesus Culture conference, which I will post later for the detail (been too lazy >.<)

God gave me the prophetic gifts. And I have my very first picture while I was praying for someone... and I received the gift right away!

After that, my Lord just send a spiritual brother to me.. haha..

I didn't get to know him for too long.. and then he asked me to be his sister..

which I am super willing too..

so guess what?

I started discipline him with all I learned.. which is lots of fun..

because some of the things I have learned.. I don't really remember till I started talking to him about God.. which is crazy .. God will remind me about the things I have encountered or learned just to teach him.

Then, before my school start... I was thinking maybe I will need to knock on every christian clubs' door and share about my vision and dreams, and people might feel that I am some kind of freak..

But God is way too good, He just prepared everything for me..

I don't even need to plan anything...

Things just happened and people just come to me

isn't that crazy?

Three days before my school start, a girl I have met during Jaeson Ma's conference "supernatural on campus" called me for a meeting.

She is from Cal State Long Beach too..

and she said somehow she just feel want to call me and invited me if I want to go to this STUDENT LEADERS (from different christian club) and STAFF..

and.... she been PRAYING for me because God wants her too...

guys.. do you know how CRAZY that is?!

she only know a little information about me... and she pray for me

so without trying... I got all I want and need..

I attend the meeting at the day I moved in.. long story to tell..

but really great experience..

I get to say the prophetic words to this guy... and he got touched which is really cool

and some other guy predicted over me.. and it was very encouraged...

God just training me for this gift .. alot.. = =

I get to see lots of things.. before they happened..

which is very crazy to me.. sometimes I just can't believe these happened to me

too good to be true..

now it become a lifestyle to me already

yay!! God is good..

Lets talk about yesterday..

we have fun yesterday..

Steph, May, Steven, and I..

we went to this school events..

before that.. during the noon.. Steph went with me to this prayer meeting..

which was really great.. we prayed for each other and encouraged each others.

And Stephanie just done the really great job on prophetic words too..

with pictures and words.. just crazy..

so we get to met more people and hang out with them

at night we just have lots of fun.. free food, games, and free goods..

after the event, we decided to go back to our room and play cards and some game.

we have great time.. and fun

today.. just way better..

because when God plan something just for you .. you will just going crazy by how great He is..

I was planing to go to this meeting with the girl I mention earlier.. Tammy..

So, without thinking too much I decided to go ...

which I kinda regard after May, Stephanie, Steven, and my roommate have left.

I started felt like.. why am I still here?

why don't I just go back?

all these thoughts just came in my mind..

till I started doing my homework..

Then.. I just went to the meeting without expected too much..

so here I am in the pizza, pray, plan event..

while I was talking to this new girl I met and eating my pizza..

I saw.. Jaeson Ma walk into the house..

I was shocked..

and crazy happy!

because I didn't expected that...

and... the meeting.. was great...

without he speaking too much God show up..

this meeting turns out is from Jaeson's campus church meeting

and I was there without knowing it..

which is crazy .. and great.

people kept telling me I am place in the right spot and right time

from different events and prayers..

very encouraged..

and God give me the worship heart once again.

for a while I haven't worship this freely.

we worship with only a guitar.. and all these true hearts worshipping the Lord..

just sounds so beautiful and simple..

students crying out, praying, singing, all these sounds so untied together..

like they are mean to be in a song..

I just fall in love with God's power and presence..

I have always want to meet or be with some powerful group who is burning for God and willing to run for Him.

God answered my prayer right on time

I have always dream about meet someone like Eddie Brown as John has met..

like Sarah met lots of great leaders.

and now God just prepared for me

Jaeson's group.

can't described how great God is..

and..

yea

Just so good

I get to pray for two tiffanies

and one of them cry... because the words God wants me to say

and just great

who am I ?

I am no one..

but with God..

I am a big deal..

in His eyes

Lord I love You so much

tRuSt_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 07:45:00 +0000

Speechless.. Its nice to facing all these difficulties with all my greatest sisters and brothers.. Yes I am tired, yes I am hopeless, yes I have peace. There are more than one thing I want to share.. but now I just want to share about today.. So many things happened this summer and these days.. all these gifts and encounter I have experienced.. all these tears and joy I have felt.. Praise You my Lord .. for You still love me and I love you back.. Praise You my Lord .. for I have to face money problem and only depend on You.. Praise You my Lord .. problems are can no longer block me to love You more. Sometimes I asked lots of why.. God why does Sarah and Alice and Amy have to leave? God why my money is not here yet? God why am I so foolish that I can lost my 15 dollars today when I don't have too much money already? After all, there are one reason... God wants me to love Him only and not worry about others. I found peace although I lost my money..(not in the beginning ... of course) but after the sadness.. I just felt that.. God said its okay.. there are much more blessing waiting for me when I stop worshipping money and the world.. tears fall down from my face, because I am so stress out.. yes is only the first week of school yes I still don't have any text book yet yes I still waiting for that one answer yes I am ready to do something I never done before in school yes I am who God says I am my head hurts.. my tears runs.. my music plays.. my mind thinks.. my hand types.. all for one reason.. God still loves me.. Thats why I am here... Thats why you can read my words. Take my world away God. I don't care anymore I am so lost but I know You are with me I am so hopeless but You are my hope I am so sad but You are my joy as long as You are with me as long as You care about me as long as You still loves me More God More BREAK me into pieces.. kill me before use me yes God because there is no better way than Yours because there is no meaning to live without You I don't care how others say about me anymore because I only got one life to live. and that is Yours I might cry in the middle of night I might hurt while You break me I might want to give up I might going to the place I never been before I might be scare but If is all for You take me even if that cost my life All I can do is .. trust You all the way no turning back no more time for wasting no other way trust You wholeheartedly if I perish, then I perish if I die, then I die because I know where I am going.

bLessIng dAy_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 00:51:00 +0000

Okay, first.. yes I am 19 years OLD already..
and yea.. now I finally get to the stage where I supposed to take some driving test...

and yea.. I didn't pass the first and second time.
why? because the first time it was an accident.
then the second time is due to my bad driving skills.

anyhow..
today .. the last day of my permit.
very nervous about it.. I decided to give myself one last try.
since after today.. I will have to start all over again.. and spend $28..
I just came back to San Fransisco for two days.
and I am so stressed out..
feeling so stupid that I have to take the driving test twice and still didn't past it.
so .. I was like.. okay.. without an appointment... (too late to make one yesterday.. because I thought I can past it .. but I didn't so .. its all full already)
I was waiting for stand by.. which not a great chance for me to having a test today.
as more and more people came in for test.. I felt very hopeless..
I was praying and praying.

My mother and I was boring while we waiting..
and I just looked around and asked the lady near me who was reading "Jesus Freaks" if the book is good.
so we started the conversations... about God and everything.
she was surprised by what I shared.... although she think Todd is kinda weird..(she said that someone told her that he kicked people as healing... ??)
anyhow so my mother and I was sharing.. with her and her daughter, too.

it was great.. since she loves God and think very similar about end time..
thanks to Jack's great teaching.. that I have so much to share.. and I also gave her some information about some conferences we went to.

so.. all of sudden... she gave me her book.. "Jesus Freaks."
I mean.. very shock.. didn't expected that ..
but she just think I should have it.. so blessing..
after they left.. (asked for phone numbers already.. ready to get another young girl on fire!!! )
the DMV guy asked us to go to other place for driving test.. since they are so packed up.. can't fit me in at all..
so we went to 20 miles away from Bakersfield..
a very little city..

I was so nervous still.. but somehow I felt I am going to pass.. and I felt that that lady was the reasons why I am there today.
as we went to the other DMV.. (which is very tiny... with very different kinda people)
my mother and I was praying..
so I asked God to drive for me.. I don't want to depend on my own strength anymore.

so I did it..
although .. a little too nervous cause a little mistaken.. but

I PASS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Praise the LORD!!!
HE is CRAZY!
and I love Him so much!!!!!!!!!!!!
on the last day of my permit.. I pass this!

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
anyway..
during these few days..
I been online for facebook .. due to a game.. called "yoville"
its a game where you can create yourself and your own apartment.
you can work, shopping, meet new friends, and go to club and stuff
so I was kinda stock with this game
and guess what I did?
I brought a lady from he game to my room.. and I share God with her and pray for her family

wakakaka.. who say we can't share God during online game?
you boys should share Jesus while you playing halo or something hahaha
the lady happened to be a mother of three..
she is from England.. very nice.. and she did go to church sometimes
so I was just praying for her family and happiness..

also, yesterday... I went to my mother's company just to pick to check with her.
met some of her co-workers.
they are all girls.. very nice
so I shared about my experiences with God and what is happening in Florida.
pray for one of my mother's co-worker.
very fun and cool

just so fun to walk with Jesus.
she said her back pain felt much better
Thank You JESUS

yea yea yea

great happy days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sF_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 05:35:00 +0000

as many people may know.. not all of my family believing in God.
and I feel super weak.. I came will passion about saving people..
want to show them some signs and wonders..
but.. all got cold after.. not due to anything.. but the environment.
my cousin was saved. but he didn't really got on fire.. just normal Sunday Christian.
so they don't really do anything besides go to church on Sunday.
as his parents think we better not talking anything about God no more in their house.

so.. i really want to share.. but feel so useless..
i really want to pray for them
but feel no power
i really want to catch the time to watch God TV with them but time always run away.
so i was like.. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

also, today i saw the news about gay marriage..
man.. i feel so sad.
they can still get marry till Otc.
then what is the point of voting???
i mean.. that is not right

in SF along.. after 17 of this month..
they can all get marry for REAL
and there are 900 couples sign up the dates already

GOD what can we do?
nothing but PRAY?
Your people are crying out.
for Just, for help

i really don't want to see all these happen..

=====================================

by the way
i am hurting due to my wisdom teeth's spot.
already took out.. as you guys know,
but .. there was a little infection happening..
it hurts not only my mouth but every time when i swallow stuff..
man..

what its wrong

please help..

eMotioNal_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 05:11:00 +0000

wow.. people's mood change so quickly..
can't even tell when the next emotion is coming...

i was happy yesterday..
i was happy this morning..
i was happy this noon..

but now i am very unhappy.. kinda disappoint again..
as you all know, we all been though this age of "emo" time..
which means the age between 14-17 years old..
some said this are normal.. but i said no.

well.. yea.. same thing happened to me before..
no body can understand me, and i don't want anyone to get into my little emo world..
but now as i got out of it.. i knew it was stupid... and very wasteful too.

i wasted my mother's love,
i wasted my time to love,
i wasted my chance to be happy...etc.
same thing that happening in my house still

because my cute little bro think he is a big boy now..
so he don't want to talk to me nor my mother.
he don't want to pray nor read Bible as often.
not even want to share about himself no more.

we used to be so close..
as i saw the pictures of John Wang and his sisters.. and John Henderson and his sister.
tears just fall down from my eyes.
can't help... (thanks to facebook)
i just want to be as close as them with their siblings
i don't know why so hard for my brother.
its so easy to share with him on the internet and massages.
but not so easy in real world.. real "conversation".

any guy can help me out?

he looks so happy when he talks to his friends, especially girls.
he can massage girls or his homie every ten sec.
but can't talk to us for two mins.
i don't get it
and when we asked him if we can just share and have time to be together..
he will answer there is nothing to talk about and nothing to share.

he said something hurt me so much
and.
i think that

man.
i can have love to love others.
why my brother just don't love me
the way he talked to me like he hate me or something
every sentence i said, he denied, against.

very nice.
now what?

anyone can answer me???

boys what were u guys thinking when u are 16 or 17?

God can turn my day ArOuNd_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Sat, 31 May 2008 07:01:00 +0000

Man, I knew I knew that I haven't updated my blog for such a long time..
but.. I am so happy right now..
because I found my dear God's plan for me in Bakersfield.
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I was boring as I moved back to Bakersfield.
I was WASTING my time.. seriously.. I felt that I am a useless person or something..
all I do for past few days was sleeping late, watched TV or drama online, eat.. ect.
(that's why I gain some weight too... **crying... )

and I just feel so weak and no motivation to do anything
it was weird ... maybe just too tired from the past few semesters...
(awwww... excuses)

and how.. I woke up early today, with my mother's lovely yelling..
she was yelling at my brother because he came back home around almost 12 last night..
and "maybe" his friend throw some toilet papers on our garden...
(according to my step-dad, he said these are done by high school graduates.)
since my bro just went to graduation party last night.. he must knew some graduates,
so then.. my mother and step-father was piss because of it..

but.. these all are not the point.. before I woke up.. I was having a dream of my family
and I felt as God's vision..

I kinda woke up between 8A.M., I didn't know why I just started praying for the family in Taiwan; especially for one of my cousin whose in England now and didn't want to believing in God, and other one is my mother's oldest aunt whose suffer with her life. (very empty and etc.)

anyway, I was just praying some simple prayers like God touch them and use them....etc.
as my sleep goes along, I started having a dream about that I went back to Taiwan.
and all my family gathering together for a high class party.
so we were eating and sharing..
as time goes by, I had a desire of sharing God but I was warning by some family members that I better not talking about God.
I felt so stressful although I was dreaming.. so I just shared God's blessing without mention His name, and I tried to encouraged my family with His love.
all of sudden, my oldest aunt she fells down on the ground and started weeping and speaking God's words to me. She shout to me that God is going to answer my prayers due to my faith.
and He heard every words that I prayed and asked.
I was shouting hallelujah and crying so hard.
then I saw myself walked to my cousin and started share God's words (which was something like her past is all wiped away by God's love, and she will never be the same...ect) ,and she started weeping and repenting. I was so touching..

at the same time I heard my mom's lovely voice..
haha..

anyhow.. that started my bad day.. I tried to talking to my brother with love and told him what is right and what is wrong about his behaviors.
and he was giving me a hard time and all these attitudes towards me..
although I didn't get mad, but inside of me felt don't want to talk anymore..
and I allowed my weakness, stop doing what I kept doing after onething conference.
and.. I felt all I have done is wasting because of my weakness.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
so I felt very useless and unhappy about myself..very very disappointed.

so I was having a bad day with a great dream.

at night. my mother came back and I went to shopping with her..
have great time... and went to eat.
somehow I wanted to eat at the place, didn't know why...
then after tonight I found the reason why God putted me here..

I got to shared with the owner of the restaurant.. (a pho restaurant own by a family from HK)
and mom shared that the owner's twin daughters are Christian already but not so deep,
and then they are the only family members who believes in God.
so somehow God gave my mom and I a chance to shared with all of them.
I was sharing my family story and how I got touch by God.
before that I was sharing the revive in Florida, and how powerful God is..

they were so surprised by what God has done.. and they didn't know that God can do some much crazy things...
and as I shared more, I can felt God's with me.
my mom said something very cool... she said that we are doing a church right there ..
and its so true.. because Bible said that two, three people gathering, He will show up..
so cool, I can't described how great I felt..
and their mother just so happy and willing to believe God after my mom and my stories..

so cool

God You are GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew You always have plan for me no matter where You put me at..

Thank You Thank You Jesus..

First "can I pray for you" movement at CSULB_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Thu, 01 May 2008 01:49:00 +0000

We are so .... encourage!!!!
God just so creative..
that the way we step out.. He just send encourage from different person..

May, Steph, Steven and I all gather together with little fear inside..
and even though we are not sure that is going to happen.. but we still do this by faith

anyhow, we have two teams, one is Steph and me, and then.. May and Steven..
we went to different places in our campus..
it was 5 PM..
not lots of people there, but we still did it!!

First, Steph and I prayed for two guys on our way to the final place

Christ and Chaz.. one of them want to be prayed for closer relationship with GOd, and the second one want to be prayed for be wise about financial...
so we did.. they were happy and appreciated about what we are doing

and then ... there comes a group of people, we prayed for two girls from that group..
they wanted to be prayed for smoothness of doing school work..
and the other one is personal problem.. to help her face her problem

after that.. a fish jump into our net...
this girl.. name Angelica.. she want us to pray for her so then she won't have to go back to Iraq..
so we did...

then.. we prayed for a handsome, tall, white guy..who smile and gave us a thumb up..
Sam.. he want us to pray for his friend whose going to be baptized..
and other friend that just walked by..Justin..

so we still walking around.. and see Steph's high school friend..
Leeann.. she was very scared about the thing we are doing..
so we just gave her blessing.. which we only spent 10 sc..

after that.. there are some merchants in front of the book store..
which is the place we are.. and a lady who sell stuff asked us over to pray for her..
she want us to pray for her son.. because her son has a problem and that needs to be solve today..
so she want us to pray.. also we prayed with her mom too...

so we saw a lonely girl she was putting poster on the wall.. and I just felt that I need to bless her..
so we went.. she seems like she are not willing to be pray for..
but with Steph's sweet smile and my kindness attitude, she finally okay with us pray for her.
and she said thank you after we prayed.. which surprised me..because she was really unwilling and not happy about our action... thank You JESUS

then we saw a guy who we have saw twice.. so we knew that God want us to pray for him
at the first... we were scared about his look.. all black outfit with long hair and goatee..
but we still .. step up with faith..
and he ends up so nice.. he have a JON SU smile..
my Lord, they look so alike... ha.. anyhow..
we prayed for his tiredness and happiness..

and then as we keep walking to other place..
there is a group of people..
lots of them.. and Steph got nervous, she deiced to fold the poster..
so I told her don't be shy.. I held the poster..
as we walk near.. I felt this is a Christian gathering.. since I saw guitar..
and as soon as i able to tell Steph, she saw some guy that she met earlier in the semester in a Christian club.. which she have attended few times.
its called Asian American Christian Foundation ...
it was so encouraged...
because the people there are encouraged by our action too..
we are blessed by few of them..
and they have so many different people from different countries, Japan, Korea, China, Taiwan..ect
so cool.... and they asked us where we from.. (club) so we answered.. we are from JESUS..
doing this for GOD because we love HIM!
ha... and they asked about our church and everything..
some of them I have seem them in conference already..
some of them are just new to us..

it was so cool because they want to do this with us some other time

man GOD!!! You are just amazing..
You linked us to bigger place..
with more Christian.. and I can picture that all the Christian gathering together just worship God, touch lives, and come back to God..

just like last night the prayer room we have..
God tole me.. to make this campus as His holy ground..
during last night's prayer time.. Steph and I both can felt God's heart.. hurts so badly..
we wept.. just for the people who are mad and turn back from God..

and today.. we got touch by the people that God send to us..

it was a very great day!

have IHOP as dinner..

yay... yammy...

Pray MORE!
DO MORE!

we are planing to do this every mon and wen.. if we can.. hehe..

and prayer room everyday!!!

pAryEr meEtIng_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 07:59:00 +0000

Yes, we DID it again!!!!!!!!!
so happy that four of us united together for ONETHING!
To cried out and seek for God's face.

All four of us enjoyed what we have done..
prayed for a hour..
we know we want to do it longer..
and it was very different ..
because we used IMPACT style prayer room
we lay on the floor .. some pray.. some read Bible..
some fall asleep.. which is me.. ha

but it was great..
we all felt God's presences, Steven heard something as "it will shine.." for five times
and Stephine received this picture that radical jam was playing worship songs, and she lay her hand on a person's fort head and he was weeping..with Jennifer saying prophetic words
and Jack is on a side have tears in his eyes, felt very proud of them..
as for May, she received this verse from Bible something like "it has never be seem, heard.. "
and she knew there was something not from God in our room so she have prayed for protection over us and clean our souls..
for me.. i fall asleep.. but it was very peaceful and deep sleep..
i felt fully rest.. even though only a little amount of time..
but it was great.. because God knew that I was burn out.. and too tired
and I received this message about how we need to prepare our heart for this up coming Wednesday which we are going to do the "can I pray for you" movement.
God want everyone of us have great expectation of His work..

so keep us in your prayer .. thank you..

As today I send some of Impact members some messages about our school, this is what happened..
in our school, sometimes there are some people who will held three different sign.. (huge one) and says God is angry and homo need to repeat or God will send them to hell..
something as blessing your dirty hearts..
which is anti-Christ..
they tried to make people mad and have wrong impassion about God..
and started hate God.. those kinda stuff..
I was really sad..
it hurts my heart badly..
I really want to do something.. but I was alone
and I can really felt how God feel..
so painful to see His own beloved do this to Him

so.. I was weeping..
and I prayed for them as well..

anyway..
we gonna keep up our own LB PRAYER ROOM

so..

welcome all..

haha

ps..
May and I might have a FUN 19 birthday party..
everyone of you are welcome..

Father & Son_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 06:06:00 +0000

Dick and Rick Hoyt...
best love story that every told..

and the best love that can't hardly found..

A video you should watch..
as Father God and everyone of us..
He never give up on us..
and He push us further..
because He want us to have a better life..
just like this father...
with full of love... selfless, willing, and hard work..
----------------------------------------------------------------
This is a story about a baby was born with brain damaged..
but his dad didn't give up on him...
besides he gave him a very fulfill life..

touch me so deeply.. that i cried.. can't stop..

because this remind me of God's love..

everyone of us.. we all have our disable areas..
but God didn't give up on us..
He accept.. and want us to be better...

enjoy the video..

loNg lOnG tImE_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 06:58:00 +0000

haven't update my blog for so long..

but still have so many things to share.. and God show His love to me deeper and deeper..
I just want to shout... "I am so in love with this GOd.."

anyhow...

after Onething conference, my heart became very soft, and tears are so easy to fall down..
I just love it.. I can feel God's presents easily..

I love it!

During the conference, I have been washing by my tears.. and I felt so refresh and clean..
also, I received this "new" vision that I never thought about..

is to revive Asia ... which is Taiwan..
still waiting for more proof from God..
However,
lets talk about some break though that I have lately...

**my overcome:

- I have overcome my fear of praying for people in school..
even though is only one student that I prayed for.. healing!
even though she only felt better.. but I am so happy that I meet a new girl who got saved too.. <3

-I have overcome my fear with stand up for God in my class...
in my acting class, we have this open sense acting practice..
and we need to create these time, location, relationship, and situation. Then this girl she gave this ideas as

Time: Jesus time
Location: Israel
Relationship: Jesus and devil
Situation: "who can sleep with Mary?"

I was... pissed by the last one...

and I feel very uncomfortable about this....
I don't know what to do.. but I know I need to stop this...
so I just went to teacher and asked her to change the situation..
so she asked me if that offense me.. and I nodded.. while my heart pomp so fast..

and guess what..? she didn't get mad or think weird.. and she got ride of this..
I was so happy after I did it!!!!

then there are some other things as.. i listened to the Mark "daddy's" worship music..
while I was studying.. and my heart start open up for God.. and Holy spirit fall upon me once again.. then I started weeping..
man.. I can weep anything God comes in to my heart..
some other things are that I walking on the way to my classes, and then listening to my worship songs, and then God just visit me anytime He want..
I will not deny it.. because I love it..

I started one-on-one caring network again.. with this girl.. who used to be catholic.. but she is not going church anymore... so then I was spending my time with her.. having dinner and went to her room prayed and shared my stories with her..
she was touch... I talked to her about how God thinks about her..
and ... I knew.. she wanted to know more..
so I shared almost a hour ... tried to explain what Holy spirit is, who Jesus and God means to us..
It was such a great time.. and.. I felt I did something very meaningful.

Today morning, I got a chance to talked a guy who I have met earlier in the beginning of the college year, I was doing the one-on-one caring network... and I found out that he used to be Christian, but somehow he don't agreed with the whole "salvation" thing... which is the main thing in Christian. He thought that life is about experiencing things, and no one needs to be "save." I didn't say much.. but I know I need to listen to him in order to know what is in his mind ,and what leads him to think this way. So, I told him I will pray for him...

In the afternoon, I was encouraged by a middle age man who was holding a big sign says, "Give me five seconds, I will show you Jesus is the one who created Heaven, and He will save you soul."

at the first, I was thinking maybe this is not Christian. So I stopped and listen to him..
there is a girl who was asking questions as "if God loves me and is the one who created me, then what is the purpose of creating me while He know I will not accept Him at all."

and the man answer her as, "so what if everything in the Bible is true about Jesus.. will you want to follow Him and believe in Him?"
she answered, " No, I will understand the things that Jesus have done are real, but I won't borrow to believe in Him. because I don't need Him."

after I heard this.. my heart started aching... and I want to cried so bad..
I felt so sad.. that I can't stop praying for the guy and the girl who asked questions..
after all, there are some other guys, girls talked to the guy.. and thanked him.. includes me..
I told him I am Christian and thank him so much to do this..

I think this is enough sharing.. for today... so many of them
and I am super tired..
due to last night two hours slept..

and yea! God is good.. He have proved to me how powerful and faithful ..
I GOT GOOD GRADES!!!!!!!!!! WAKAKAKA..

Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a WHO_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 06:54:00 +0000

Finally, I got a chance to watch this movie today.
oh man... it was GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD...

like most of you, who have watched this movie already.
I almost cried... yet, I did cried a little..
so touching..

from my view, what i have seem is that...
in the beginning, I wasn't expecting too much from this movie.
even thought many people from Impact have told me how good it is..

but as more as I watched, as more as I got into it..

and I was so touched by

"A person is a PERSON, no matter how SMALL"

and yet! please, mothers, your little tiny babies might have something want to tell you..

"I am here"...
like the movie sang..
"We are here"....

My heart was broken, when I heard the song they yelled out, sang ...
and especially, when Jojo opened his secret lab..

Oh dear God, when the little balls fell down, there were two DNA shaped stairs? something like that..to me it presents something very important, its like the secret lab as a little baby, and then the stairs as DNA, and the big balls that fell down as heart beats from the baby..

I was so touched..
you can felt how wonderful and powerful from a little baby...
God created people so unique..

when they started sing "We are here.."
tears in my eyes..
can't described my feelings..

but Lord!!!!
You are so gooood..

after watched this movie..
i really hope NO MORE abortion will happened anymore

please Lord...

A person is a person .. no matter how small!
and they are created by GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank You Jesus.. for I am still here and typing these down...

Praise You..

last NigHt_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 06:35:00 +0000

Last night,
we started our "first" time CSULB cell group..
not too smooth, cause we all don't have experience..
started with the worship..
and its kinda funky, kinda funny..
a little fight..
but overall

i have great time with God..

Steph and I prayed for our family, friends, and school
Most importantly we prayed for our unity ....
every time we want to gather to do something for God..
things just keep happening..

but we know.. if we gather.. and united together for God..
we will be very powerful..
so devil just keep put something between us..

but this time..
we don't care no more
Stepth and I even weep for the lost and our unity..

Thank YOu Jesus..
For You are so good to me
and yet! can't wait for spring break!

Next time.. will be very great!
Help us Lord..
Thank You Jesus.
I love You

tHese days_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:12:00 +0000

Haven't up date my blog for so loooooooooooooooooong...

humm.. where to start??

so many things that happened lately.. that make me kinda don't know what to say..

anyhow..
lets start with this cool thing..

there is a day, which I was kinda sad before I went to sleep..
I felt much better after I woke up, and God spoke to me:" Smile, because I still love you."
God was showing me love!!!
OH my Lord, I was so happy, and God wanted me to dress up and be pretty for Him.
So, I was prepared, and get ready.... it took me some time..
When I realized, I spend too much time already.
But then God said, "don't worry, I will slow time just for you, so praise me ?"
So I stated worship Him, felt very peace, not rushing at all, I even walked kinda slow..
(*usually I need to spend like 25 minutes to walk from my dorm to class, and class started at 9:30AM, and by the time i left my room it was 9:15 already) I didn't really know till I am in front of my class room.... I am there ON time!!!!!
GOd is so faithful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My God, and because I was shock so I am late for one minute, but anyway teacher didn't really care that one minute!

after this, God wanted me to know, He gave us many chances to be happy, everyday is new day, He set lots reasons for us to be joyful, but we always spend too much time on bad, anger, and negative side ... so we are always not happy.. Even GOD still LOVE us.

so then, other thing that I want to share is that, I was worry so much about my quiz, midterm...ect. God always help me relax and love Him more.

and its so cool that I called some people and cared about them and asked them how they doing, and pray for them, AND they GOT touch by the LORD!!!!!!!
oh yeaaaaaa...
so cool na...
they will start ask me about what is in my life make me so caring..
and seek God..
Praise the Lord, because You are good

thank You for mama's birthday, even thought is not all the way happy, but with good ending..
thank You Jesus..

and I am waiting for my SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sHaMe_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 21:21:00 +0000

finally, i finish my midterm...

and more.. is coming up.. << i thought after this week i can rest a bit..

man.. college life is very busy.. awww.. i am burning out..

anyhow, back to my topic..

last night, after my brain got burned..
Yusuke came without notice.. he wanted to surprise me and treat me a dinner..

which is nice.. helped me relax a bit.

and as he told me a story, i felt it was something that God want to tell me..

one day, God asked a pastor to go to Africa, to save His people, to help them, and guide them.

Pastor asked God:"Lord, why me?"
God say: "You are not the first one that I ask. Are you willing?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it hits me...
Yusuke told me, this is why he finally become a cell group leader..
he said, he used to think that he's not ready for anything..
and he always back up when people asked him to become "leader"
and finally, one day after he heard this story, he understand that God is telling him something.

we always sing, "God, I put everything before You" or "my life is Yours"...
but we always can't do it like what we sing

funny huh?
i found myself like that too...

i feel useless since i came to college.
i want to do something
but always feel too embarrass to pray or even mention about God.
yea, few times, but not that often..

so.
i decided to response to God's calling.
i might not be the first one that God ask..
but.. I will be the one who response God's calling

as i walked back to my dorm
i was listen to the worship songs.
i sing it..
i got filled by Holy Spirit..
I know..
this is my dream from God
i know.. i need to weep for my generation, my school, and my peers around.

i was able to cry

and i can see God smile

i am going to do something bigger...

God..

help me..

the Moment_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 09:39:00 +0000

God, I am tired... midterm, papers, essay...
drive me crazy...
people only have to study for 20 mins, i have to study for 1 hour to get the same grades..
Lord, I know i am complain again..
but, i am just... tired.
how come, some people they don't have to do anything and they can get what they want easily?

i know You will reward the one who work hard...
i can't wait till the result..
but ...

I praise You for Alice, she's so amazing.
Lord, i can't thank You enough for the people around me
Alice is like Angel, study Bible with me... and pray with me
Praise the Lord for good dinner, and snacks...
Praise the Lord for my health.. i have no pain .. only tired from lack of sleep
Praise the Lord that i have 5 hours to sleep and still can type my feeling in this moment

Praise the Lord that Johnny feel Your love before he feel sadness..
Bless him like You did to me when my grandpa passed away.
God.. I know You are doing something.. and want us to learn....

Jesus...
Help me, guide me with my midterm tomorrow.
I praise You for Jasmin who have prayed for supernatural way of study..

God... I want to do everything with Joy..
With the spirit of Joy.. and wisdom

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
May, Steph, and I were in the room, and we were talked about old old old songs.
very fun, and refresh our memories about our childhood
fun.... i love it..
miss the moment
so..

that remind me of a song called the moment, by 孫燕姿
i was listen to the song that used to touched me very deep...
the moment...

love this song.. very much

God.
Thank You
for everything that happened

i might not understand right now
but i will understand
because i love You deeply
there's nothing..
Nothing that can change

the way You love me

daddy, help me
strength me

i want to do something
for You

along.

hUrT_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 01:29:00 +0000

gosh, this hurts like crazy...
can't stand it anymore....

why GOD!?!?!

last weekend, i was too hungry
while i was helping prepared meal...
i can't wait to eat.
finally at the time that i get to eat,
i bitted my mouth.
i left two holes in my mouth

then, my nightmare began......
it hurts .... in a way that i can't stand anymore

so, someone told me to use salt,
yes, salt...
very crazy, i must out of my mind.

one of the painfullest thing in the Earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the pain feeling went all over my head
from my mouth to my mind..

my face turned all red

and.........
i tried for like three, four times
cause i really want it to heal or at least make me feel numb, so i can't feel hurt when i eat or drink
but

i now i am still hurting, even though i didn't do anything
just typing
it hurt

so i praise God,
like what i did when i tired to put salt on my mouth.

God, please
heal ME!
like right now
because You are good
and I love u

put my two midterm in Your hand as well

help me focus, stop my pain

love You

learning processing_ loading...57%

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 08:51:00 +0000

Another new day that God created; i woke up with swollen and dry eyes.
My eyes can barely open and my heart is empty.
"again," i thought
my heart started filled with anger.

last night, i was pain all over my heart and mind.
i cried so hard, and felt helpless.
i have no idea, all i did is denied myself and became negative again.
i tried so hard to not to fall into darkness again.
Praise the Lord, Yusuke was on the phone, he kept telling me how much God loves me and He didn't die for nothing.
it milted my heart, so i cried harder.
till i have head ached.
so i talked to May till 5 in the morning.
we shared, we tried to understand each other, and we have talked for the longest time since i met her.

i know, God changed something between may and i.
and i know, even though we have to go though this painful way to reach where we are right now, but God is always there and watching over us.

I was broken last night, i cried and cried.
till a point i want to stop but i can't.
so i started pray, i asked God why He allow this happened?
and why me??

then God showed me, Jesus been though all these.
God used May asked me, isn't that i want to become a leader?
and i asked myself,
can i handle more?
its gonna get worse when i become a leader.
and i thought about how Jesus been go thoguh.
He must feel the same way as i do.
feel depression, don't know what to do, sadness, being misunderstanding, no one want to listen to Him, even kill Him.

but devil has played my emotion.
i still have great anger inside of me
i felt like, why me again?
so you didn't do anything wrong? and u always perfect?
different people from different back ground, there's nothing to be compare with.
we are all in the same stage, we are all learning, so how dare u say that to me?
i never tell people what to do or try to change them, because only God can.
who are you that can tell me what to do ?
what now? you think you are old enough to deal with your peers?
i didn't say anything or do anything doesn't mean i am not MEAN enough to do
becasue i know
i am different ..
from my past.
i want to stop all that retaliate actions that i used love to do.
yes, i am different
yes, stop thinking

then i fall sleep.

till today.

so back to the beginning, where my eyes still dry and ugly.
i have anger inside of me still
and i can feel it grow bigger ..
i don't want to forgive, and i want to do something to hurt whoever hurts me
i tried so hard and i even give up myself
just to please you?

but God is amazing.
there is the difference between the people who love God and the people who don't know God.
God changed me already.

at the afternoon.
God treated me mango, made me feel much better
and started putting lots praising songs in my mind.
non stop, so i got my i pod and started singing while i walked back to my dorm
i sing and people looked at me funny or weird.
but i don't care.
because i love Him
and He wanted to cheer me up.

after all.
God started sending angels around me
talked to me, cared about me
He want me to know i am not alone
and
my heart got soft and started crying again while i was talking to Jack.
so i finally got released by what Jack told me.

funny, i can always obey whatever Jack told me.
and devil know that, so before Jack reply, i don't feel want to talk to him at all
but then, thank God, Jack you talk to me

so, i feel much better.. with God's love and family, friends warm caring and supporting.
so much love
and..
i still remember the sermon i heard from few weeks before.

Don't listen to the voice of criticism, doubt, limitation, and selfishness.
Only listen to the voice of faith.

only been few weeks, how can i forget all these?

see, i got played by my mind and devil.

but, God is greater than these things.

FOCUS on the right thing.

I need to reestablish my mind and life, let God control over my emotion and decisions.

and something very interesting that one of my friend Andy have told me:

"that's why they say, friends are just like the sand in your swiming suit"

kinda funny, he said he heard this from last Sunday.

God, You always use different ways to comfort us don't You?

anyhow, i know i am still in the learning process, where God is still dealing with my darkness, and my mind.

Change for the better, i guess i am in the loading ....57%

prayer prayer prayer

i need to start fast and pray early in the morning

stand still

and have party about all things that happened.

cause You love me still

PS. Thank you Jasmin, Timu, Jack, May, Yusuke, mommy, Howard, Amy, Frank, Joy, and school friends.

Special Thanks to Jesus.

because You are good

nEw tHinGs EveRyDay_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 06:50:00 +0000

so, as the time goes by.. i can feel the stress on me is getting heavier

bad grammar still.. no faith on myself at all..
but i know.. i need to ask God for help

anyhow
this is what i want to share today.

today, i say thank you to a men who's hired for clearing the road.
God told me to do it.
at first i was struggling because i think its stupid to do it
but..
its not
i enjoy the surprising smile
"thank you" i said
"uh.. what?" he reply
"thank you"i said
"you're welcome" he smile

so cute
God just love everyone He created.
and when people are appreciate at one and other
He's happy too..

He just want me to show His love to that men
and i just like to say thank you
sample but powerful
can make other people's day
i say thank you to the people who wash our dishes.
and the people who serve me

and i always have time to open door, pick stuff up and earn other's thanks.
i love it

because i can see smiles and smile back..

for my class today was fun.
lots games that i have learned from my acting class..
i can just play in different events that Impact have
so much fun
and

i just love God
no time for emo or anger
so yea

i want to be more like u
and lovable

thank You JESUS

sAdnEsS transform to Praises_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 08:31:00 +0000

in my life, lots up and down.
like this time.
very down. have nothing else to do, but pray.

feel betray, madness, sad, depress...etc.
man, shut up emo.

i should be happy today.
because i am still alive, and God still love me as who i am
and i praise so hard tonight

what else?

i mean...God, thank You for putting Sarah, Alice, and their whole family in my life.
they are so sweet and supportive.
feel so much love and understanding from them
warm and lovely.

God just want me to learn as much as i can in different difficult time.
and.. i should dry all the tears away

i am tired

of all these drama thing
and the hurt feeling.

i just want it to stop

and..

just no more being Ms. nice
because they are not see me as friends.
i will just be someone they know
and answer their questions.
that's all

my eyes are dry again

its okay
its gonna be alright

next semester
i will be better.
i will pray
i will hope

its okay
hope u guys will be happy
and get along
bfs.

i am just a person who passing by
no need worry or care

i am me
no more denied and changing
because i can be me again
don't need to try to fit in

my God accept me and want me to learn
so i obey
and i want to be happy

okay
i am done talking today
tired
God bless you all

sleeping time =]

nEw sKiLl fRom God_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 05:01:00 +0000

so crazy, my God is so crazy.

I found out something that God has put on me...

a new "skill"... wow..

i can feel or hear things from God before it happen..

and it happened few times within this week already

which you can see in blog...

and i felt it again.
today is Chinese new year eve
and then...
i got to stay in Long Beach, because i have class tomorrow.
and then Steph and May got to go home.

so i went to eat alone.
but God love me so much He let me know this before it happen

i was in my last class, i was filled by holy spirit..
i can felt it, the warm feeling flow from head to toe.
after all, God gave me a feeling about that May is going home and she's going to call me and tell me about it.
(because she wasn't sure if she's going home because she's sick.)

then i got her voice mail about she's going home with steph and steven.
and because i have class till 4.30 so they are not going to wait for me
which is only 30 mins later

but anyhow, i got a chance to go out with my RA
we went to bought text books, and i got to ate dinner with her

(Thank God i wasn't alone, that made me felt better)

so anyhow, i got to know her better and i bought a 2 dollars instant noodle bowl.
Japanese style, good but fat
so what.. i got to make myself feel better right?
ha

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
lots text to read
but feel okay

cause God gave me a great gift!
i can feel or hear things before it happen

Thank YOU JESUS!

On TiMe_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 07:31:00 +0000

God, You are always on time.
Thank You and praise You for that...

hey, anyone really reading my blog?
i tried to record everything that's amazing in my life....
didn't see some response like before

humm
its okay..
i just write for God ...

anyhow, as today, i was worry about my finical money is not coming in, which i have two more text to buy.
And i was waiting for my sociology text still...

worry and worry just running on my head.
and today is the first day i started fast meat, tried to worship wherever i go..
and somehow lots worries just hit my head..
i have no control at all....

so after class, i was wondering around, saw the price of the two text, my heart was like dropped down... to very deep hole..

i have no idea where the money is coming from.. since my mom said bank doesn't content as much money as we need.

somehow, i went to financial office to asked about my check.
while i wait in the line, a voice told me, " have you check your dorm mail box?"
i was shock ... cause i haven't.
but still... i used my little human head to think about this.
No, i said to God, because i changed my mailing address to Bakersfield before winter break.
its not possible for them to mail here...
so God said, "fine, then you keep waiting then."
During that time, God give me a feeling about that both text and check are here already.
but i wasn't sure.

so i kept waiting till i started complain.
the line is long, and took so long.
God was like, "i told u"

then i finally got to speak with the guy..
he asked me if i am sure that i didn't get it
so i asked him if its mail to Bakersfield.
which all you know, its in my dorm mail box.
and its true

both my TEXT and CHECK is here!!!!!!!

so happy

for awhile

then i started worry again
i hate it!!!!!
go away!

man..
i think i hurt my mom by not trust her with money
cause i called her and asked for about last check i got from school
all gone...

for family issues

still i really hope i can save some money
i feel no secure at all

and i didn't mean to hurt

ANYONE

GOd... please

i know You love me
please provide me a JOB!
i need it so bad.
awwwwwwwww

Thank You

God, You are too amazing_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 09:12:00 +0000

okay, where to start?

let's start from this: Thank you John, Sarah, Alice, and Jas who always common on my blog, very courage, and is something that keeps me going.

and then, what i want to share today is that....
God so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i want to talk about something God have prepared for me in this semester.
First, i didn't know this semester will cost me that much.
on books alone, my acting class have to cost me almost $90, sociology class cost $120 for text, Anthology cost me $60 for the package, fitness cost $38 + sport shoes(haven't buy yet) + shorts(haven't buy yet)...my Lord, where are these money come from?

so, i pray to God, because i have no idea how i am going to get all these.
and i worried again..

God is always go beyond our minds...A men?
He's too amazing that i have to tell you all about what happened!

for my sociology, there's no way that i can find a cheaper book, not even used around the school book store or the book store near.
so i searched online, which i found on amazon.com that there's a guy who sale it for $82 something + $3.99 shipping fee..
no bad.. but i pray i will get it.. in faith ~

the next one its very cool..
my Anthology teacher have made this package which every students will have to buy, or else we have to find a student that he taught before.
which is very small chance and hard to do.. since our school have lots of students.
i was worry, because other class cost so much already, i really don't want to spend 60 dollars for a package that can't be sell back.

But God open a door for me. after i complain to God and asked for His help..something happened. before my class, i walked to the door saw a flyer says book for sale, with the same teacher and the packet that i need.. for $40 !!!
i called and today i got it!!!!!!!!!!
and i plan to do the same thing after i used it... sell to the next person ~

i was so happy~
but i need more amazing things to happen for my other two class, which now i truly believe something will just pop like these two crazy things that God have done for me.

and..
tonight, why i sleep so late?
because is our dorm's casino night...
which we get to gamble with "unreal" money..
and get chances to win some price..

guess what?

when May, Steven, and Steph asked me to lose all my money (because May have to wake up early for work so she want to go back early. In order to do that we will have to lose all our money to get out) i just kept winning.. like crazy..
in beginning i was lose and win .. nothing more.. and nothing less.
but after they wanted me to lose.. i just kept winning..
these two guys who played in the same table with me was kinda envy.
because i have won by getting black jack for 3 times a round.
(yes, yes, i played black jack)
i even told dealer that i am trying to lose all the money, and these guys just told me to give them money, but i didn't..
dealer said i shouldn't because first, they came for meet with some pretty girls like me, (shy.. i am not ha) and second, they are too chicken to bet 100 like me..

i was happy though.. hahha even though it came from a "old" men..

anyway..

guess what?
i ended up with seven raffle tickets ..

and

i won a gift card for OLD NAVY!!!!!!!!!!!!

wakakaka..

$15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A free gift from God!!!!!!!
New YEAR gift ~~~~~~~ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

God, You are too cool..

man..
i love You so much ai~

so yea..
just share my happiness~

tears_

noreply@blogger.com (*+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +*) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:20:00 +0000

These few days, i found my tears been falling so often.
After the amazing conference- Prophetic House of Prayers, something was being remind again.
And something is going to be deal with (inside of me).
suppose after attended a conference people will feel fresh, joyful, renew, love, full of energy.
but, i become so depress, so easy to hit the point of depress, fear, blind.

i should have fast and pray hard for this "thing" inside of me.
Annie was the first one who found out what have happened to me.
I always have problem with deeper worship, only few times that i have experiences deep worship. And i know it is not deep enough for me.
last Sunday, somehow it hit to a point where i can't worship anymore.
which scared me, i didn't know what happened.
i know God knows everything..
so..i put everything before Him.

In the conference, i cried a lot, too.
during the time that i went on the stage, when they were pray for people who work or learn media and art. I smelled God's smell, the very first time. its like flower smell, the mixed kind, but better than that, better than perfume. Amazing smell, i love it!!!!!!!
good choice God, jkjk..
the smells just on and off, so i been asking God to proved it if its His smell.
and the smell just come back.
and, after they told us to kneel down, i was crying and open up to God.
All the sudden, i felt the floor was shaking. So real and crazy.

I want to fly, dream, and love again.
i chose to live, i want to do something for You, God.
I'll wait till You come back.

all speakers are amazing, the massage were very powerful and useful.
i was very touching at the moment when the younger generation washed older generation's feet...
i cried so much.
without the price older generation has paid, we will never be like this.

Abortion, homosexual, very serious problem today.
we need to stand up and against it.
Pray harder and harder

God, i want You more than anything
I want to know Father's voice, and find Your heart on me
God, Thank You for see us before our sins
I want to become a person who speaks life, be courage!!!

and then baby video, i cried like crazy, too.
but is so meaningful.
how that every life counts in God's eyes.

I saw the video John posted on his facebook, then i fall in love with
STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN..
i want to marry a guy who's like him, deep love with God, done so much for God.
heard lots songs from him before, but never get to know him
finally, i really hope sunday can sing his songs,
i really want to sing.. live OUT LOUD!!!!!!! so cute
touch me. and i cried

i cried harder when i heard when love takes you home

like the whole song, i just cried
and felt God's spirit fall on me again

Lord, i want to do more
for You
alone