sPoT oF mY hEaRt

aWwWWwww_
2007年10月25日星期四
I really don't..
............. ...........don't* like.......
............when people said...

.......i am too into religion**......

cause I AM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just being who i am..
and love God whole heartly**




how many times i have to say this over and over

...............again?**

just talked to a firend .. that i known for long time........

he just broke up with his gf..
and i told him.. see..
don't learn from painful way....

he said "no pain, no gain**"
and then he told me how much i been
CHANGED**.......that i am so religion*.....

awwwww...
i really don't like to talk to the people who don't understand God's love**

that made me feel like...
i can't talk or something..

the just DON"T understand..
keep tellin me religion is not real...

but they can't answer me any questions that i been asked...



God..!!!!!! U crazy..

U love Ur people like crazy**

please.. show them what i see.. what i have been experienced..**

yes..!!!! that's what they need**

now..!!!!! please....


going creazy..



hey.. btw...



i am going back to reading Bible life style again!!!!***
isn't that amazing ??

i dont' know where to began.. so i read from the very very begining...

the first page..
and.. i am more into it.. than before..
so fun..

stories are intersting now..


thank You*** Daddy****



i love You****

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posted by *+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +* at 上午1:13 | 4 comments
tHeSe DaYs_
2007年10月23日星期二
Lots things are in my big head now.. don't know where to start..
Maybe because of the heat around my room?
Maybe because of the dusty air ..?
Maybe because I don't now whatever I want to say...

or just maybe.. i want to say something.. as least list out what have happened in my life lately..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fri. >> came back from LB..dating with Yusuke.. eating dinner in 頂泰豐, very nice very nice.. after that Jack's house.. fun and seiours meeting.. prepare for future and understand what i have to do ..

Sat. >> "dating" with baby Sarah and the girl she's caring now, have fun in the mall and shopping.. bought some "cheap" clothes.. ^^ <<3> my sista
Then, a very depress "wave" meeting..very first time, feel the stress from leader... and I know in order to be a leader, people have to take that kinda test and to take it without complain..
as a "leader wanna be"...i know i should have to learn from it.. and understand how to control group members and own emotion...

Sun. >> singing the very first time short solo..almost mess it up.. very nervous and hope i did okay.. great message.. and i should start daily Bible study.. stop being lazy .. after that i decided to stay over one more night.. since i only have one class at monday.. so i chose to stay over in my "old" friend's house.. which heard lots sad things that happened lately in her life.. i felt so sad.. tears almost falling down.. cause she used to pray and love God when she were little... but now she experienced all these bad things...and she refuse to know more about God, not even listen to Chirstian music..

Mon. >> sleeping over.. tried to know her life... which sleep at 4 AM since she can't sleep ... and she don't want to think too much.. so she want to driving around and eat and stuff..after all.. her birthday is today.. so i went to mall with her.. just to buy birthday gift... Yusuke and i bought something very valueable for her.. which she chose it.. but.. we all think it worth it.. cause.. she been helping me alot.. and i hope our action can make her view herself valuealbe as well..
My dear mom...she's been piss and mad at me about money.. about i didn't go to that "one" class.. i mean.. come on... who haven't skip class as college student?
i mean.. i haven't skip anything till that day..
so she's yelling about how i am coping these kinda bad action, and if i do that one more time she will force me to go back to Bakersfield for college.. HA..
i don't know i know i will do it again no matter what..i don't get it how people like to self-contradiction so much..i mean.. she told me that i am 18...i can make my own choice and half on my own.. i didn't do drugs, didn't kill people..
awww.. she's been action crazy again..

i see her as mom.. so i told her.. she said okay.. but everytime after things pass.. she will started action crazy about it..
called me and hang up after yelling at me..
and i started found out some of my action is from my mom
so i feel very bad** for Yusuke.. cause i done that sometimes..

about some other thing that i worry the most is that..
Joy have made a big changed in her life..
and i don't know...
i really don't know .. cause i hate breaking up..
i just ... feel the big fear inside..

i don't know what to do with it..

oh God.. please...

I really don't like to being poor.. and fighting the same old topic with my mom over and over .. i really don't like to breakin up...
and i don't want to refuse Your will..
please... talk to me..
let me see what You want me to know.. and what You want me to see..

i am lost.. and worrying.. i know i shouldn't be...
cause You search me and know my way..

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

really don't like this feeling.....



******btw.. about the fire thing that is going on right now..

make me feel and think is end time some how..
how can these "major" fire happened in same day..

JEusS is CoMiNg...


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posted by *+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +* at 下午3:09 | 2 comments
College life.... new LiFe...
2007年10月20日星期六
I should have write about this earlier.. too busy.. not time for writing about my life..
and.. since Jack said we should start writing down what God have done to our life..
I chose to OBEY!!!! YAY....:)

.......................................................................................................

Since the school started for 6 weeks already..
lots things have happened... and I did learned things from these experiences..
such as how to take notes, how to live with others, how to talk, how to express feelings, how to talk, and even... how to eat..

Long Beach is pretty cool place, everything is new to me..
after these weeks, I started feel.. like old student...
I still remember the first time when God used some guy to cheer me up...
(he stop me when i am on my way to my class.. asked me if i know Jesus..)
so cool.. and i still remember... when Holy spirit follow me when i sining praises ..
how They fullfill me.. and the lovely touch..
i still remember.. when Holy spirit "force" me to open my mouth and pray...in tongue...
and to remember people's faces and pray for them
i still remember .. when anti Christ entered our school and yelled at people about how God hate them.. which is not true.. but it let me experience God's feeling.. how sad He is .. and the tears on my eyes...

when i felt drepess...
"be still and know that He is God.. " from my new friend's mouth..

God is with me everyday.. and i can feel it.. He is so close to me.. that i love Him so much..
whenever i am in troble... such as don't know what to do .. or teacher don't like me..
He is always there to comfort me.. to Love me...

i know He's so wonderful that i have to obey His will...
and i will go.. for Him alone..

i don't care how people say about me...
but i care how God view me..

fear not! cause the only one that i should fear of is my Lord...

Thank you ...


for loving me..
for helping me..
for taking such good care about me..

can explian how many things that happened during my "new" life..
and i don't know what will happen next..
but i will trust Him, and try to be "worry free"..
this is too... "holy holy".. hahha

but i will try to updating..
and yea..

God i love u .. night night...





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posted by *+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +* at 上午1:59 | 3 comments