sPoT oF mY hEaRt

crazy encountered with God in CSULB_
2008年11月12日 星期三
there are too much crazy things to share...
first... tonight... wow.. I don't even know how to start this...
this is what happened...
God is coming to CSULB with power and He surely coming soon...
these few weeks.. the students who have passion about Jesus been given this 24/7 prayer meeting vision by God...
and we all have received this among the same time..
and we all believe that is gonna happen.. just need a place to fulfilling this vision.
so on Monday night, David asked me to go to this prayer meeting called RHOP...
its located at little tokyo which is supported by Heaviest Rock on Pasadena..  
it started on 2006 till now..
a open 24/7 prayer room... for student leaders from every difference campus on CA..
which is really cool, that night along, I got to met the leaders from UCLA, UCSD, UCI, UCR..etc.
and they are all on fire for God and revival...
we all hungry about God and we all cried out that night... from 10pm to 1am..

that was great... but what is crazy is tonight...
today I met with this leader from Campus Crusade for Christ....
and Tammy and I taught him how to sing with Bible verse... 
which we have sung Psalm 26 and 115... and it sounds really good too 
so he was very happy about it and wanted to do more..
not only that... we also have prayer room on the Campus Crusade meeting.. which is really cool
because God show up
He totally did.. MY VERY FIRST DRUNK IN SPIRIT HAPPENED TONIGHT!!!! DURING THE MEETING...
we have no idea it will happen this early..
we all pray for this club.. since we really want to see God doing something to open up their eyes... without our effect .. God just did it..
I was praying with this girl, and somehow God just want me to say sorry to her for this painful experience from her past... for some reason, God want me to told her that just thought that I am the person who hurt her.. and she started crying.. I started crying like crazy with her too... I felt this huge pain in my heart.. so we were weeping together.. 
after that somehow God just done something funny..
so I started laughing.. really bad.. can't stop... and I felt very joyful... and dizzy too...
I fell from chair and started laughing on the floor..
people looked at me to see what happened.. and Tammy started asking if people want to be baptized by Holy Spirit.. and we prayed for few people... also prayed for most the leaders there... and one of them got filled by Holy Spirit immediately.. which it never happened to him before.. he even received tongue... isn't that crazy?!
that's not the craziest part yet....
we were praying for the leader we met earlier ... and we prayed that he will be fill by Holy Spirit and become drunk like I am..
at that time he didn't get drunk .. but turned red and full with joy...
and we just kept praying on our own since he need to go to leader meeting after the Crusade meeting... so we were praying on our own.. kept filled by God for almost 3-4 hours today.. and I was really drunk ... can't really stand up by my own... 
we were praying fire on each other... and then we decided to go to the leader meeting and fill all of them with Holy Spirit..  which we found out by the time we were there.. the guy we prayed for drunk in Spirit is already drunk by that time.. 
and we were praying for some other leaders who never received the baptize from holy spirit before.. which was really fun.. they all felt God and have fun with Him..

after the meeting... Tammy and I decided to do more..
we stayed and started worship with Bible verses again... just Psalm...
its fun.... we were having 2 guy leaders from CCC... and 3 girl leaders from CCC...
and Tammy and I...
we all worshiping freely.. and we felt God open heaven...
so we started cried out to God.. for our campus...
we prayed for each other...
and then we all lay on the floor... and started pray for all of them... (since they all never received tongue before)... and guess what?!

they ALL received tongue tonight... and two to three of them even got drunk in the spirit for their very first time!!!!
God answered our prayer in a very crazy way... and way early than we thought....
I started my campus invasion at the same day too... 
isn't God good?!
btw.. I need some support for buying my team some can I pray for you shirt...
can someone help?!

ha.. anyhow... God is so good....


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
btw... I married to Jesus..
don't really got time to share that earlier..
but its a really cool story too..
I was in this bible study/prayer meeting on this guy's house... and we were praying.. that day was the election day... and I remember I was weeping with Steph after we heard the result of election... for America.. and all of sudden... we both felt like we shouldn't be sad... because God is in control over all these... so we just praying... and during that I saw God gave me this really beautiful promised ring/ engaged ring.. there are 7 pearls with diamonds on it.. there are white, pink, peach, and light brown for the pearls... and God just asked me.. "will you marry me?".... 
I was crying.. because I felt so unworthy.. and I felt I am not ready yet....
but when I turned around.. I saw a big mirror behind me.. and I saw myself dress up with bride's dress.. which is a peach dress... very very beautiful design... and it looks like I am ready to get marry.. and right after that.. I saw this marriage license in front of me.. and Jesus just sign His name before me... I was crying with joy.. from that I know.. I am marry to GOD...
isn't that crazy?!


oh .. oh... by the way..
we are going to have an event for life!
we gonna do it for 6 hours.. maybe 12 hours.. fast and pray... silently.. 
not only that please pray for this sat. we gonna have an all leaders meeting for break out on Long Beach to have revival to come...
em... we are all on fire and crazy!!!
GOd is SOOOOOOOOOO GOod to us!!!!

Thank you for reading it.. 

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posted by *+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +* at 下午 11:30 | 3 comments
grateful_
2008年10月27日 星期一
can't thank enough....
can't praise enough...
because You are so good to me...

I was very tired today...
lack of sleep.. plus stress all over me.
I am so tight up with work (new job) and school work..
I really want to spend some quality time with God..
not just that.. I want to do more for God on my campus..
I am not satisfied with the little work I can do here...
I want to do more...
so today.. I was kinda stress out.. and don't feel anything else.. but tired... and sick..
there are so many things to share.. just don't have enough time to share..
as I walked to my English teacher's office today...
while i was waiting.. here comes a guy ... freshman... waiting for the same teacher ... we all want to ask him for help on essay..
anyhow.. all of sudden.. I started share what God has for him.. he thought I was a sidekick.. and I told him.. I am just like normal people that love by God.. 
he was shocked by what I said about him... and I told him...that's not me.. its God who knows him..
I can tell he wants to know more.. but we are out of time.. but I am sure we will see each other again.. keep praying for him..

after that... I saw the sign at my school... vote no on prop 8..
my heart is aching..don't know what to do .. don't know what to act.
but pray.. as I walk.. I went to bookstore.. got something for myself ... and the tiredness just came to me.. 
I don't want to do anything ... anymore...
until my ipod changed to the music Luck Hendrickson played..
I didn't really listen to it before.. until today..
it really clam me down, I can feel God is with me as well..
my heart got soft... and I know.. its time for me to think more about God.. but not people...
I been focus too much on people these days..
I give give give.. 
and I am dry now..
I need living water from my creator..
so I started thinking..

I really need to say thank you to God and lots of people in my life.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Love notes for God:
I was small, I was no one...
I used to hate myself, I used to look down on myself...
I used to kill myself, I used to ignore my feelings...
I was dirty, I was hurt...
I was broke, I was lost...

until You came in to my life..
tell me its okay to cry..
its okay to give up sometimes,
its okay to not try so hard..
its okay to love, its okay to be love
its okay to smile again, its okay to be heal.

there is nothing You can't do..
You taught me so much.. 
You wiped my tears from my cheeks..
kissed me on my forehead..
You tell me how much You loves me everyday..
every part of me... that's been torn apart, been hurt really bad..
You touch it, heal it.. and told me that I am beautiful..
You told me not to look back.. but look upon You.. 
You gave me hope, You are the reason I live..

You held me tight when I can't sleep at night,
You held my hand when I am lost
I say, "but I don't have a father..."
You say, " here I am.."
I say, "I been hurt so bad God.."
You say, "its okay, I am here with you.. and I love you.."
I say, "I can't go on.. I need help.."
You say, "let me carry you daughter..."
I say, "no body loves me, I am so lonely.."
You say, "I am here... please look at me.."
I say, "Lord, I am tired.."
You say, "rest in my arms.."

THank You.. Thank You God...
my tears can't stop falling from my face.. 
because of Your love..
God.. please... save my friends, school, and my family..

-----------------------------------------------------------

Love notes for YOU:
thank you for being part of my life..
you might not know... how important you are..
but I want to tell you ... thank you so much ..

thank you for being here for me when I am sad..
every hug warms me from my heart..
every "how you doing?" remind me someone cares about me..
even every smile give me joy..

thank you... for your love..
I just want to give all back.. 
with all I have.. 
-----------------------------------------------------------------


can't wait for the call..
I have very good feeling about it..
I know.. God will touch me that day..
even now.. God's presence are so strong..

God proved me free money from school..
have I mention it ?
he he..
200 for books.. praise the Lord..

and not just that..
He prepared me a job.. let me work at starbucks..
although its very tiring..
but.. I know.. all things work for good..

hey..
I want to touch more lives..

are you here with me?

lets do it together..


we love Jesus..!!


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posted by *+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +* at 下午 3:38 | 2 comments
wiLl_
2008年9月14日 星期日
So I guess I will share this again..
God have answered all my prayers for this year..
Well, almost all...

is getting there.. and God is good!!!

I been praying for have more faith in Him and want to do something crazy for Him.
So I pray for get to know all the christian club leaders in my school, and I really want to united them together cry out for my school.
Then I pray for becoming a prophet... want to see more visions, dream more crazy dreams..
Third, I want to disciple someone, although I didn't know too much yet, but I just want to give it all... I don't want to forget any detail of what I have learned. And the best way to remember it is by teaching it to others. 
After these just some other personal wishes, such as family's income problems, move back to the place where near church, and stuff like that..

Anyhow, during 2008 this summer, all my prayers have been answered.
God is faithful... when you ask Him for something faithfully, He will give it to you right on time.
During the Jesus Culture conference, which I will post later for the detail (been too lazy >.<)
God gave me the prophetic gifts. And I have my very first picture while I was praying for someone... and I received the gift right away!

After that, my Lord just send a spiritual brother to me.. haha..
I didn't get to know him for too long.. and then he asked me to be his sister..
which I am super willing too.. 
so guess what?
I started discipline him with all I learned.. which is lots of fun..
because some of the things I have learned.. I don't really remember till I started talking to him about God.. which is crazy .. God will remind me about the things I have encountered or learned just to teach him.

Then, before my school start... I was thinking maybe I will need to knock on every christian clubs' door and share about my vision and dreams, and people might feel that I am some kind of freak..
But God is way too good, He just prepared everything for me..
I don't even need to plan anything... 
Things just happened and people just come to me
isn't that crazy?

Three days before my school start, a girl I have met during Jaeson Ma's conference "supernatural on campus" called me for a meeting.
She is from Cal State Long Beach too..
and she said somehow she just feel want to call me and invited me if I want to go to this STUDENT LEADERS (from different christian club) and STAFF..
and.... she been PRAYING for me because God wants her too...
guys.. do you know how CRAZY that is?!
she only know a little information about me... and she pray for me

so without trying... I got all I want and need..
I attend the meeting at the day I moved in.. long story to tell..
but really great experience..
I get to say the prophetic words to this guy... and he got touched which is really cool 
and some other guy predicted over me.. and it was very encouraged...

God just training me for this gift .. alot.. = =
I get to see lots of things.. before they happened..
which is very crazy to me.. sometimes I just can't believe these happened to me
too good to be true..
now it become a lifestyle to me already
yay!! God is good..

Lets talk about yesterday..
we have fun yesterday..
Steph, May, Steven, and I..
we went to this school events..
before that.. during the noon.. Steph went with me to this prayer meeting..
which was really great.. we prayed for each other and encouraged each others.
And Stephanie just done the really great job on prophetic words too..
with pictures and words.. just crazy..
so we get to met more people and hang out with them

at night we just have lots of fun.. free food, games, and free goods..
after the event, we decided to go back to our room and play cards and some game.
we have great time.. and fun

today.. just way better..
because when God plan something just for you .. you will just going crazy by how great He is..
I was planing to go to this meeting with the girl I mention earlier.. Tammy..
So, without thinking too much I decided to go ...
which I kinda regard after May, Stephanie, Steven, and my roommate have left.
I started felt like.. why am I still here?
why don't I just go back?
all these thoughts just came in my mind..
till I started doing my homework..

Then.. I just went to the meeting without expected too much.. 
so here I am in the pizza, pray, plan event..
while I was talking to this new girl I met and eating my pizza..
I saw.. Jaeson Ma walk into the house..
I was shocked..
and crazy happy!
because I didn't expected that... 
and... the meeting.. was great... 
without he speaking too much God show up..
this meeting turns out is from Jaeson's campus church meeting
and I was there without knowing it..
which is crazy .. and great.
people kept telling me I am place in the right spot and right time
from different events and prayers..
very encouraged..

and God give me the worship heart once again.
for a while I haven't worship this freely.
we worship with only a guitar.. and all these true hearts worshipping the Lord..
just sounds so beautiful and simple..
students crying out, praying, singing, all these sounds so untied together..
like they are mean to be in a song..
I just fall in love with God's power and presence..

I have always want to meet or be with some powerful group who is burning for God and willing to run for Him.
God answered my prayer right on time
I have always dream about meet someone like Eddie Brown as John has met..
like Sarah met lots of great leaders.
and now God just prepared for me
Jaeson's group.
can't described how great God is..

and..
yea


Just so good
I get to pray for two tiffanies
and one of them cry... because the words God wants me to say
and just great

who am I ?
I am no one..
but with God..
I am a big deal..

in His eyes

Lord I love You so much



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posted by *+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +* at 上午 12:51 | 2 comments
tRuSt_
2008年9月9日 星期二
Speechless.. Its nice to facing all these difficulties with all my greatest sisters and brothers.. Yes I am tired, yes I am hopeless, yes I have peace. There are more than one thing I want to share.. but now I just want to share about today.. So many things happened this summer and these days.. all these gifts and encounter I have experienced.. all these tears and joy I have felt.. Praise You my Lord .. for You still love me and I love you back.. Praise You my Lord .. for I have to face money problem and only depend on You.. Praise You my Lord .. problems are can no longer block me to love You more. Sometimes I asked lots of why.. God why does Sarah and Alice and Amy have to leave? God why my money is not here yet? God why am I so foolish that I can lost my 15 dollars today when I don't have too much money already? After all, there are one reason... God wants me to love Him only and not worry about others. I found peace although I lost my money..(not in the beginning ... of course) but after the sadness.. I just felt that.. God said its okay.. there are much more blessing waiting for me when I stop worshipping money and the world.. tears fall down from my face, because I am so stress out.. yes is only the first week of school yes I still don't have any text book yet yes I still waiting for that one answer yes I am ready to do something I never done before in school yes I am who God says I am my head hurts.. my tears runs.. my music plays.. my mind thinks.. my hand types.. all for one reason.. God still loves me.. Thats why I am here... Thats why you can read my words. Take my world away God. I don't care anymore I am so lost but I know You are with me I am so hopeless but You are my hope I am so sad but You are my joy as long as You are with me as long as You care about me as long as You still loves me More God More BREAK me into pieces.. kill me before use me yes God because there is no better way than Yours because there is no meaning to live without You I don't care how others say about me anymore because I only got one life to live. and that is Yours I might cry in the middle of night I might hurt while You break me I might want to give up I might going to the place I never been before I might be scare but If is all for You take me even if that cost my life All I can do is .. trust You all the way no turning back no more time for wasting no other way trust You wholeheartedly if I perish, then I perish if I die, then I die because I know where I am going.

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posted by *+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +* at 上午 12:45 | 3 comments
bLessIng dAy_
2008年6月11日 星期三
Okay, first.. yes I am 19 years OLD already..
and yea.. now I finally get to the stage where I supposed to take some driving test...

and yea.. I didn't pass the first and second time.
why? because the first time it was an accident.
then the second time is due to my bad driving skills.


anyhow..
today .. the last day of my permit.
very nervous about it.. I decided to give myself one last try.
since after today.. I will have to start all over again.. and spend $28..
I just came back to San Fransisco for two days.
and I am so stressed out..
feeling so stupid that I have to take the driving test twice and still didn't past it.
so .. I was like.. okay.. without an appointment... (too late to make one yesterday.. because I thought I can past it .. but I didn't so .. its all full already)
I was waiting for stand by.. which not a great chance for me to having a test today.
as more and more people came in for test.. I felt very hopeless..
I was praying and praying.

My mother and I was boring while we waiting..
and I just looked around and asked the lady near me who was reading "Jesus Freaks" if the book is good.
so we started the conversations... about God and everything.
she was surprised by what I shared.... although she think Todd is kinda weird..(she said that someone told her that he kicked people as healing... ??)
anyhow so my mother and I was sharing.. with her and her daughter, too.

it was great.. since she loves God and think very similar about end time..
thanks to Jack's great teaching.. that I have so much to share.. and I also gave her some information about some conferences we went to.

so.. all of sudden... she gave me her book.. "Jesus Freaks."
I mean.. very shock.. didn't expected that ..
but she just think I should have it.. so blessing..
after they left.. (asked for phone numbers already.. ready to get another young girl on fire!!! )
the DMV guy asked us to go to other place for driving test.. since they are so packed up.. can't fit me in at all..
so we went to 20 miles away from Bakersfield..
a very little city..

I was so nervous still.. but somehow I felt I am going to pass.. and I felt that that lady was the reasons why I am there today.
as we went to the other DMV.. (which is very tiny... with very different kinda people)
my mother and I was praying..
so I asked God to drive for me.. I don't want to depend on my own strength anymore.

so I did it..
although .. a little too nervous cause a little mistaken.. but

I PASS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Praise the LORD!!!
HE is CRAZY!
and I love Him so much!!!!!!!!!!!!
on the last day of my permit.. I pass this!

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
anyway..
during these few days..
I been online for facebook .. due to a game.. called "yoville"
its a game where you can create yourself and your own apartment.
you can work, shopping, meet new friends, and go to club and stuff
so I was kinda stock with this game
and guess what I did?
I brought a lady from he game to my room.. and I share God with her and pray for her family

wakakaka.. who say we can't share God during online game?
you boys should share Jesus while you playing halo or something hahaha
the lady happened to be a mother of three..
she is from England.. very nice.. and she did go to church sometimes
so I was just praying for her family and happiness..

also, yesterday... I went to my mother's company just to pick to check with her.
met some of her co-workers.
they are all girls.. very nice
so I shared about my experiences with God and what is happening in Florida.
pray for one of my mother's co-worker.
very fun and cool

just so fun to walk with Jesus.
she said her back pain felt much better
Thank You JESUS


yea yea yea

great happy days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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posted by *+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +* at 下午 5:51 | 2 comments
sF_
2008年6月4日 星期三
as many people may know.. not all of my family believing in God.
and I feel super weak.. I came will passion about saving people..
want to show them some signs and wonders..
but.. all got cold after.. not due to anything.. but the environment.
my cousin was saved. but he didn't really got on fire.. just normal Sunday Christian.
so they don't really do anything besides go to church on Sunday.
as his parents think we better not talking anything about God no more in their house.

so.. i really want to share.. but feel so useless..
i really want to pray for them
but feel no power
i really want to catch the time to watch God TV with them but time always run away.
so i was like.. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww


also, today i saw the news about gay marriage..
man.. i feel so sad.
they can still get marry till Otc.
then what is the point of voting???
i mean.. that is not right

in SF along.. after 17 of this month..
they can all get marry for REAL
and there are 900 couples sign up the dates already



GOD what can we do?
nothing but PRAY?
Your people are crying out.
for Just, for help


i really don't want to see all these happen..


=====================================

by the way
i am hurting due to my wisdom teeth's spot.
already took out.. as you guys know,
but .. there was a little infection happening..
it hurts not only my mouth but every time when i swallow stuff..
man..


what its wrong

please help..



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posted by *+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +* at 下午 10:35 | 1 comments
eMotioNal_
2008年5月31日 星期六
wow.. people's mood change so quickly..
can't even tell when the next emotion is coming...

i was happy yesterday..
i was happy this morning..
i was happy this noon..

but now i am very unhappy.. kinda disappoint again..
as you all know, we all been though this age of "emo" time..
which means the age between 14-17 years old..
some said this are normal.. but i said no.

well.. yea.. same thing happened to me before..
no body can understand me, and i don't want anyone to get into my little emo world..
but now as i got out of it.. i knew it was stupid... and very wasteful too.

i wasted my mother's love,
i wasted my time to love,
i wasted my chance to be happy...etc.
same thing that happening in my house still


because my cute little bro think he is a big boy now..
so he don't want to talk to me nor my mother.
he don't want to pray nor read Bible as often.
not even want to share about himself no more.


we used to be so close..
as i saw the pictures of John Wang and his sisters.. and John Henderson and his sister.
tears just fall down from my eyes.
can't help... (thanks to facebook)
i just want to be as close as them with their siblings
i don't know why so hard for my brother.
its so easy to share with him on the internet and massages.
but not so easy in real world.. real "conversation".

any guy can help me out?

he looks so happy when he talks to his friends, especially girls.
he can massage girls or his homie every ten sec.
but can't talk to us for two mins.
i don't get it
and when we asked him if we can just share and have time to be together..
he will answer there is nothing to talk about and nothing to share.


he said something hurt me so much
and.
i think that

man.
i can have love to love others.
why my brother just don't love me
the way he talked to me like he hate me or something
every sentence i said, he denied, against.


very nice.
now what?

anyone can answer me???

boys what were u guys thinking when u are 16 or 17?



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posted by *+ tIfFa <3 ChRiSt +* at 下午 10:11 | 3 comments